Leave a comment

Criminal and Crimefighters 3# The Third Degree

After the defence of the Pacific Princess Beetle and Alice interrogate the captured Supervillans in the Ship’s brig with the help of some UNIT interrogators.


Caught again heh Batroc?

Caught again heh Batroc?

UNIT INTERROGATOR BEECHAM: Do you have a little comb for your moustache?

BEETLE: Batroc. I’m going to level with you. My phone autocorrects your name to ‘bathroom’ – that’s how much respect the world has for you. But me? I like you. You have a snappy costume and an hilarious accent. Be a pal, eh? Tell me what this was all about, yeah?

BATROC (Looks quizzically at UNIT sergeant Beecham) qui bein Sur

(To Blue Beetle) Oh my little blue insect z- if only I could but when one has taken on a contract with an employer – it would be a failure of honour to how do you say ‘spill the beans.’

BEETLE: Who said anything about spilling? The way I see it, your contract is still good. The diamond’s still out there but you’re in here. You give us something we can use, maybe you get another shot at the prize? We’ll try and stop you of course, but that’s all part of the game, non?

BATROC Ah indeed the ‘great game’ we play – lets just say I am working for off planet interests…

BEETLE:  There’s the thing, eh? ‘Off-planet’ means this isn’t an attempted robbery. ‘Off-planet’ means this is an attempted invasion. And you’re collaborating with the invaders – a traitor to all mankind is what everyone will call you. Honourable? Not a chance..

BATROC  So many assumptions mom ami! Perhaps I don’t know so much? Perhaps I was hired through a…. How you say….agent? Perhaps you would be better speaking to the organ grinder not the monkey? And please don’t take me to hartlepoole.

ALICE: Alice sits quietly. Her hands folded on her lap. She watches mournfully. A single tear rolls down her cheek<

BATROC Oh mom petit from age what ails you ma cherrie?

BATROC D’accord d’accord! Please do not cry – it was all arranged over the telephone – I was hired by Simeon calling himself ‘the calculator’

Like · Reply · 18 October at 12:31

UNIT database reveals https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calculator_(comics)

BEETLE: Oh man, that Calculator guy is a jerk. Maybe I should call Oracle. She’s tangled with him before.


Olly probably looks  abut like Dave the Octopus

Olly probably looks abut like Dave the Octopus

BEETLE: Olly, can I call you Olly? Olly – what *are* you?

OLLY  it’s my name – I am an octopus innit

Heh can I get a Mountain Dew or something? Maybe call my lawyer?

BEETLE: Oh jeez – sorry weird octopus dude! Forgot you were in here. We’ve got Zesti or Soder Cola. Not sure if you need a lawyer – I was planning to just hand you over to Aquaman. We were at sea, after all.

OLLY  No not aqua man! What ya wanna know?

BEETLE: Everything. Who hired you, what where your instructions? Also, how’d you do that electric thing with the UNIT guys? The way you managed to stun them all at once is fascinating.

OLLY Me old mate penguin out me in touch with the Calculator. Take control of the ship and sail it to through the portal – somebody was gonna hold the passengers hostage -Penguin was gonna take the gem somewhere in his a submarine. The electrocuting is a trick of the trade innit.

BEETLE Penguin AND the Calculator? Come on, Alice. We’ve got a supervillain team-up to take care of.

ALICE who has been sitting quietly sighs and puts down the book she has been reading. “Spanish Cuisine in 5 easy lessons – learn to make calamari like a local” now lies forlornly on the table<

OLLY  Heh no need for any rough stuff I’m co-operating

GM: The Penguin is a legitimate businessman and runs the iceberg lounge – a mere hop down the coast by Lexcorp hydrofoil in glamorous Gotham City.

BEETLE So… Anyone fancy a trip to Gotham? I can have The Bug meet us at the dock.

COMING NEXT! Criminal and Crimefighters 3# thin ice!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: