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Pink Gins & Googlies 9:3 Flashman Hamlet massacre

With the approach of the axebeaks Hettie and Gwen panic run into a rake left lying from laying pit trap and it flies up up in Hetties face send g her unconscious. He head flies back into Gwen knocking her out.

Professor Armitage (Neil) laces a ham with rat poison abs leaves it for the approaching beasts while the Countess Lemichello gets the villages and slumbering team mates to safety.

Two of the approaching Axe beaks blunder into the pit trap filled with punji sticks. Two others gobble the ham but spit it out detecting the poison.

Of the handful of villagers only one is armed Duke with a shotgun – he and the Countess engage the hut they shelter in chopping with their mighty beaks at the walls and windows.

The professor seeing a pig pen thinks to release the hogs to distract their besiegers. With covering fire he legs into across the hamlet , running like the wind until he slips on a wheel dit’s and goes flying. An Axebeak swings at him but his put off it’s strike by a well aimed shot by Flossie Lemichello The palaeontologist scrambles to his feet and makes the rest of the distance to the pig sty and flips the catch …

…. but two chasing axebeaks swing and slice the academic into salami. Rather than scramble to freedom and set the flock of death flamingos a merry chase the pigs cower and are rendered into bacon. Four of the flock feat while a fifth watched the captive humans in the hut.

The Countess swings open a door so Duke (Neil) can throw a Molotov cocktail at the feasting birds causing them some disgruntlement. While the flock rolls on ground to throw off the flames Flossie with her pistol and Duke with his shotgun ineffectually try and hurt the razor reflexed raptor on watch.

Their luck runs out as Duke is caught by the bladed beak of it and dies decapitated. Flossie grabs the shotgun as the singed murder emus from the pig pen join their comrades and start shattering the roof and walls of the hut. Just as Hettie and Gwen awake …

Will the Cranford Ladies Old Girls need a new squad or can they get out this scrape ? Tune in next week to find out

One comment on “Pink Gins & Googlies 9:3 Flashman Hamlet massacre

  1. […] As the other characters stir and see the desperate situation with the siege of the axe beaks. They manage to realise staying still and quiet and the axe beaks get bored. They manage to make a mad dash for a more secure hut but are spotted. […]

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