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Pink Gins & Googlies: 10:2 Happy Slappy

Following the suspicions raised when the girls of Cranford Old Girl’s XI turned up to stay at film star Lucky Wilson’s mansion after their adventures in Aden…

Mavis falls asleep on her poolside stakeout (too many pins coladas? or the excitement of Mr Valentino’s attentions ? Or both ) Hettie Larwood pops out to make her but notices the swirling purple energy around the stone circle and the Countess and Gwen on the roof. Rightly assuming an adventure is underway she sneaks up on the stone circle.

The circling purple energy from the celebrants pushes through the fresh doors whizzing round the circle forming a portal – a whole in space. Through it they see ivory buildings with brass domes framed by a orange sky and purple sands. In the sky sundry silver barracuda shaped craft fly sparks and smoke bellowing from their rear.

Out of the portal steps a strange golden mechanical man who kneels and gives a salute returned by Frank Cupbosrd who talks to him. The robotic fibre is called BeeBo – Frank states his preparations are in place, asks how his kingdom is and says it’s not quite time for the Armada.

Hettie Larwood then knocks over a pot plant – BeeBoo wants to blast her with some contraption on his forearm but the Hierophant takes her to ones side and with silken tongue mesmerises her.

She awakens the next day with a cloudy memory and a cup of coco as does Jemima. After deterring their memories are lazy the Countessa slaps Jemima prompting a recollection. Hettie slaps herself. They everyone has a go at slapping the statuesque fast bowler but to no avail.

At a sumptuous Breakfast plans are concocted – Hettie the maid confirms the Hierophant has an office in the west wing. He directed the construction of the stone circle including the crystals and a buried brass plaque centrally located.

She also confirms Lucky is filming her new picture Boadicea. The Countess will break into the office and the girls persuade Lucky to take them on a set tour.

The Contessa admirably breaks in to be office – the mundane papers of the church are a little dull and its membership seems limited to North America BUT fiddling with the desk she exposes a secret draw of crystal based buttons and leaves that generates a holographic interface of the earth. Shocked by this creepy technology she covers her tracks and beats a retreat.

At the set Hettie Larwood, Gwen and Jemima swan about wide eyed at the local soldiers dressed as Romans, the homeless and native Americans as ancient Britons and the impressive stone henge. As Lucky shoes off her costumes they spot a prominent blue crystal and find out it is to be worn at the stone henge coronation scene. Inspecting the stone henge set (much more substantial than Londonium or Colchester being actual cement) they note blue crystals set into the structure.

Smelling the games a foot they beg Lucky to be extras and she sorts it with the director. Perhaps they could play the ancient British game of cricket in the background for authenticity. They also find out the picture was financed by the Church of Crystal Technology AND Stonehenge designed by Frank L Cupboard ..,

Next week: Lights! Cameras! Action!

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