Leave a comment

Campaign 2 Session 6 Epic Poem

Building on last weeks musical session write up this week Dan writes up the session as a poem.

Twas the night of the wedding, and all through the town, not a creature was resting, they were all getting down!


They packed out the stadium, with lights and with sound, and dozens of Disney folk milling around.


The speeches were soulful, emotive and kind, for a coupling so natural – a rare thing to find.


But the evening brought with it a foretelling of doom, as the cats spouted claws in pursuit of the groom.


The men in their cups watched on as they prowled, they bumped and they pushed and they sneered and they scowled.


For a dance with the king was a jewel indeed, and a boost to their status for so many in need.


But Patti’s advances were failed from the start, as Babs and her husband would not be apart.


So she hatched a new plan to wrench the king from his spouse, and instructed the band to play ‘March of the Mouse’.


The people went wild, and chaos ensued, while Frankie and Roy made a run at the food.


Though as they were feasting, these most observant of folk, spied Hanni, suspiciously, leave with a bloke.

Hanni Steiner


They followed with interest, dropping crumbs from their strudel, and realised the bloke was the man they called Noodle.


It didn’t seem pleasant, there was tension and fear, as Hanni dragged Noodleman out by his ear.


Still dropping crumbs, our heroes crept closer, and watched as her captive tried hard to compose her.


But stealth was beyond them, their approach was too loud, and sharp as a dagger Hanni spun round.


She narrowed her stare, and tightened her squeeze, on a man that was fearful and eager to please.


‘You alright there, Homer?’ Roy gruffly explored, as the tip of his fingers moved down to his sword.


“Yes fine”, he replied, though it wasn’t the case, and all of the colour has drained from his face.


“He’s fine!” Hanni snapped, in a threatening tone, “it’s none of your business, so leave us alone”.


She made it quite clear she was up for the fight, but Dante and Roy had been drinking all night.


So caution prevailed, and they backed away gently, but Dante continued to listen intently.


He stopped out of sight, and strained to hear, the tone was aggressive but the words were unclear.


Dante, frustrated, let out a hiss, and he strongly suspected that things were amiss.


He hoped he was wrong, for Noodleman’s sake, but they headed back in – it was time for the cake.


Roy treated the crowd to relevant jokes, and the promise of cake was exposed as a hoax.


Instead what came out was a modest-sized cheese, which though lovely and warm was too small to appease.


Rightly enough, the cake fans were vexed, and from this disappointment we move to the next…

The music phased out, the end of the wedding, and Babs and the King headed up for the bedding.


The group had consulted, and Babs wasn’t thrilled, but the general consensus was ‘the king must be killed’.


She could do what she needed to get the deed done, but his death must appear like a natural one.


They decided that drugs best answered that question, with the challenge being how to secure their ingestion.


Spiking the food would perhaps work ok, but the taste of the Extasy might give them away.


So they stressed and they strained to devise the best plan, and ensure they’d get away with killing the man.


With options ruled out, and none more to explore, they concluded the route must be ‘up the back door’.


It was graphic and stressful, and put Babs through her paces, and the drugs made the king pull a wide range of faces.


But it worked, and he died and, although he was topped, the town would think sex was why his heart stopped.


Though Babs was the queen with the murder succeeded, the patriarchy meant that Frankie acceded.


Our lovable prince, raised up to the helm, would henceforth do damage as King of the Realm.


But whilst parading the streets, to gushing and drooling, Frankie learned quickly what it means to be ruling.


The gunfire interrupted his marvelous day, and scattered the crowds in panicked array.


It came from a distance, but still far too near, for the last thing a king needs is a kingdom of fear.


“You must show strength” was Dante’s Royal Report, but their party was small – so they needed support.


Thus Frankie and Roy, the king and the brute, gathered their weapons and set forth to recruit.

They moved through the stadium, spreading the word, which luckily several warriors heard.

Reporting for duty, they came one by one, Elsa with pepper spray, Prince Phillip with gun.


Then there came Thumper, with power in his paws, and Nala was next with her razor-sharp claws.


Huntsman, with axe, came ready to go, but Merida turned up missing her bow.


Still, time was wasting so the unit set out, to discover what all of the shooting was about.


They stuck to the road, the new King at the head, and before long they encountered the unfortunate dead.


Strewn on the road, bullets lodged in each chest, was a fishing community, now laid to rest.


It was clear this was recent from the gunpowder smells, and not far, by the treeline, they found brass bullet shells.


“I’ve seen those before” said Babs to her son, “they were fired at you… From Hans Kessler’s gun!”


Dante, impressed, called Babs “very astute”, and sighed “The gun we gave to Hanni to shoot…”


Meanwhile Patti, studying track marks alone, made a fairly impressive discovery of her own…


“Hanni is carrying something heavy to hold, she keeps having to drop it. Perhaps it’s the gold?”


Frankie spun round, eyes glowing with greed, “we must follow her quickly. Make haste!” he decreed.


So into the mountains they climbed higher and higher, ’til they found what they sought camped down by a fire.


She hadn’t seen them, but they had her in sight. Would they be welcomed with a smile or a fight?


The timing was ripe, for their their energy was low. What had happened, what faced them? It was impossible to know…


They made themselves silent, inched slowly toward her. Then held. And looked to their king, for his order.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: